Monday, January 7, 2013


This few days, I have felt this uneasiness, this tight feeling lingering my heart.
As thought it is telling me,

"Girl, do you remember your true responsibilities?"
"Do you acknowledge your negligent?"
"What have you done to prove your loyalty?"
"Are you really a good muslimah or it just an image for the public? A good image."

The last question struck me with thousands of guilt. Is the answer is TRUE or NOT TRUE?
My heart, my mouth, my mind are silenced from answering it. Normally, they would
always have an excuse answer lead by the syaitan but that day, none give any answer.

As I am dumbstruck  by the question, my heart gave a melancholy cry of realization.
What have I been doing this few months, hours, minutes? My poor soul had starve for quite a time. Waiting for me to feed them the grand word, the zikrullah, the praise to ONE and ONLY god, 'ALLAH'. Yes, the ONE and ONLY, where our soul would one day return to.

Alhamdullillah, praise to Allah heartedly.. He gives me intellectual to think. He gives me feeling to feel His presence, to give my heart to. And most importantly, He showed me the right way, 'hidayah'. He created it knowing what is the best for me. Even in a hard time or an easy time. He always be there for me. Even when I feel alone, my consciousness know that He has always been watching me. Thank you Allah the most Merciful and Justice.