Past experience, Future Investment

Assalamualaikum w.b.h

Alhamdulillah, from the event I joined (although that would be the last) I gain my objectives. Gaining experience and at the same time my confidence. I learn to have my own style and became pretty for my own sake day by day. Playing with shawls (belit-belit selagi boleh) and upgrade my sense of style.

I had once make a promise to myself to have my own boutique one day although having IT major as a course in universities. I could make use of the IT knowledge to do my own budget marketing. Create designs using computers and any related to it. Today, I talk with interior design student. She said, they don't really use Photoshop in their design but more on using AutoCad software since it in 3D. Yes, I won't deny the use of it in designing since it create more real-look and give advantage to make-realize the design.

As usual, I won't let myself be at the limit. I would try any activities or things I could learn and have confident in it. event if I'm not good with it at least the experience could be use in the future. It the same thing as the event I went through. I learn the moral of it : Not to do things behind your parents, get their consent by giving all the reason you have until they agree, take note of the event schedule and always prepare a backup plan for any occurrence. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion to the person who is to do you make-up because make-up is the reason you feel much more confident. Having bad make-up/makeover is the same as lowering your self confident.

There's also things I learn when doing talking and socializing (which is my favourite when it comes to talking to sisters/kakak2). They have experience. In malay, we say it as " Mereka terlebih dahulu makan garam kehidupan." One of interesting fact that I picked up during the gathering when doing the make-up is, you don't really need to have the qualification or skills as a sewer but its good enough to have management skill to manage the design you had and sold it. Just hire others to do the sewing while observe them to ensure the outcome is the same as how you had want it.

From that moment, I feel enlightened. The burden I had to accomplish my dream are lifted. I could still have my own brand early, start from small business. I don't need to find time to have sewing class which I rarely could find a suitable time. Been quite a busy girl since I gained back my health. Not much of a limit now, just need to maintain my balance eating food and take the supplement to support my energy.

I had a talked with my mom (ummi). She listen to my ideas and agreed that I make realize that ideas as soon as possible because if I keep on delaying it, the ideas would soon be banish. I know that fact too since lots of my writing had to be cancelled due to almost the same theme that come out in novelizing world lately. I told ummi, "Ok, kalau macam tu akak nak pergi Jakel la. Hari tu usha situ, banyak kain yang ok2 bole guna untuk buat selendang. Sementara price tengah murah, baik manfaatkan." Ummi only nod and she said she would follow me there.

 InsyaAllah, soon I would have my own designed of shawls. I would use little knowledge that I have in modelling to promote my own shawls. This time, I would be the one controlling the situation and not being controlled by it. Maybe there's a hikmah/ advantage of having Mara processing my loan late. I get the loan approved at the second semester before I end my studying. So, rather than having it waste. I prefer to make some investment on it, may Allah  make ease my plan  :)

Photoshoot!?

Assalamualaikum,

Ya Allah..Today is the day. What should I do!? I'm just a noob who just accidentally got herself into this mischief. In malay, we would say it as "bidan terjun" (ahaha, i like that phrase though. Never thought I would also be Bidan Terjun). I don't know how I work my brain that time. How could I followed my heart when my brain isn't functioning well to decide on decision.

People might be wondering, what mischief that I got myself into this time right. So, I'm telling the stories here.

One fine day, I had a cheerful walk on Facebook. I had a good time spending there until my eyes caught this event page. (I won't mention it's name here). The event kind of interesting and there's no specific qualification needed especially when it comes to height. I'm inferior toward my height actually. Maybe because I once had a dream to become a "Muslimah Model" at least one time in a life. And yes, that might also be the reason I make that decision. And also, they just wanna do the casting. A small event. Not so big as how they planned now (Which make me anxious of my capabilities). It asked for RM20 registration payment. I was okay if it could give me some experience. I really want to know how a casting is made and so, I put my name on although I know its a competition.Frankly, I don't mind if not selected since experience is the precious moment.

And yes, this morning I will have my first Muslimah photoshoot (maybe because the sponsor asked the models for it). For a noob like me who is a total beginner with zero experience or knowledge, this would feel heavy. Especially when I limit myself to only act on my own camera. Not on other camera. I'm not used to people taking my photos (That also show how I have no confident with my look). What I could only do is, pray to Allah. Fuh sana..Fuh sini.. And yes,just walk-in and see what's going to happen next.

Actually,deep inside me. I do feel pity to my mom and dad because I keep this a secret from them. Sometimes, I just want to try new thing but having parents that can't fully understand what I want is quite something. You can't just tell them directly because I hate to have an argument. Especially when it's my first try and they would worry me so much. Nak pulak, industri ni sememangnya kurang digemari ummiku (Although dia sendiri suruh aku jual selendang online & aku jadi modelnya..hehe) I'm truly sorry Ummi, Abah. This will be my last kerja gila. But, if I got offered to be model tudung labuh muslimah,how could I resist kan. Rezeki jangan ditolak..haha..angan pulak. : p

P/s: To my friend Cik Tohru who just might be reading this, I'm sorry for keeping this as secret from you before. Aku sendiri was2 ngan keputusan aku ni. Still x caya.Tapi last2 ak bgtahu jugak(lepas da fikir sedalam boleh la)..haha..and sory jugak sebab ritu cancel date dengan kau. Ade kawan ajak gi kelas catwalk sempena contest tu..huhu..

Alkisah Pelajar Praktikal

Assalamualaikum w.b.h

Memandangkan kerja di office pun tak banyak jadi masa terluang memang bertambah sampai naik bosan tak tau nak buat apa. Tanya juga supervisor if ada kerja nak ditolong, she only said,"No, but I will see if I can arrange things for you." (Ni la bahasa aku pakai bila dengan supervisor sweet aku tu. English habis.) Because of that, someone ask me to do report proofing. And yeah, sekali tu je la. Memang aku kasi correct habis-habis la. Tersengguk-sengguk baca.

Habis proofing, aku da mati akal. Nak buat apa lagi ni? Facebook dengan wechat lagi ke? Ais, serba salah aku kalau tiap-tiap hari kerja, aku dok sibuk mengerjakan FB ngan wechat jer. Tau la aku praktikal IT kan. Hari ni hari ke-4. Hari-hari yang lain aku da habiskan masa tanya-tanya soalan dengan akak-akak manis kat sini dan jelajah beberapa tempat wajib staff tahu di sambil melayan internet di masa lapang. Bos, aku pun rilek jer tengok aku buat kerja aku. Janji tak kacau dia.

Nak dijadikan cerita, masa aku sibuk layan wechat, FB..Dapat satu notification of friend request. Aku pelik jugak la sebab aku jenis jarang nak add orang atau bagi orang add FB aku. "Haish, siapa la pulak yang add ni?" Apa lagi, aku skodeng la jugak mamat mana yang add tiba-tiba tu. Tengok friend, mutual friend kepada MUA yang aku add sebelum ni. Then, tengok status pulak, "hm, Photographer, Tera studio. Macam pernah dengar je." Banner, gambar event aku join. Satu-satu aku cek sampai ke photos. Masa cek tu, aku baru perasan siapa. "OhMai! Ni photographer yang ambil gambar casting hari tu."

Memang aku terus approve la. Da approve aku usha lagi sekali. Betul ke orang ni add aku. Macam musykil jer. Reason? Mengapa!? Eh, jadi macam excited+pelik pulak. Lepas solat tadi, hilang keterujaan aku. Then, cepat-cepat aku ingatkan diri," Cukuplah bermain hati, suka tu suka ni. Kan kita doa minta Allah tutupkan pintu hati ni sehingga betul-betul jumpa calon suami yang sememangnya jodohku." So, aku tolak ke tepi excited + happy tak tentu pasal tu. Jangan layan.

 Now, aku fokus untuk menambah post di blog. Bos still tak bagi apa-apa kerja walaupun aku ada minta pagi tadi. Almaklumlah, aku hanya pelajar praktikal peringkat diploma. Apa aku bole buat adalah memerhati , tulis log book dan research apa-apa sendiri. Still, I don't mind. Mungkin ada baiknya. Who knows minggu-minggu akan datang bole jadi lebih sibuk :)

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Kata-kata Hikmah: Setiap perancangan sememangnya kelihatan indah namun keindahan itu bersifat sementara seandainya Allah tidak mengizinkan. Jadi, hayati masa sekarang sebaiknya. Merancang secara bersederhana bukan secara berangan-angan.

Post oh Post..

Assalamualaikum w.b.h

Post yang lepas aku guna Inggeris..Tetiba kali ni aku pakai melayu pulak..Hadess.. Memang rojaknyer blog la.. Bole pening kalau orang yang baca blog aku ni..haha..LAntak. Ni kan ibarat diary online aku so ikut aku nak buat rojak ke..cendol ke..roti canai original tanpa mix telur ke.. (Ok, melalut ke makanan pulak sebab lapar.)

LAtely ni, aku macam agak malas-malas nak tulis. Opps! Bukan lately lagi da..sejak bertahun-tahun ni..ak makin malas nak online, taip and post..Nak set schedule post pun tak rajin. Ish ish ish..anak dara seorang ni.. (kalau ummi, mesti da geleng kepala tengok fi'il anak dia hok ni).

Pelik kan bila tetiba jer aku cakap hal post-post ni..padahal cam selalu jer aku cakap malas nak post. Actually, aku terpandang blog member ni nurulltohru.blogspot.com ..rajin bebenor dia mengepost di situ..Nak banding dengan aku ni, baru nak masuk berbelas post..Walhal da akhir tahun pun..aiseh man..

Lepas aku tengok dia punya, aku cek blog post aku..Sikiiit nyer..haha..terasa bangga pulak. Post yang paling banyak pun tahun 2011 iaitu 78 post..Wow, ape la yang aku post sampai banyak macam tu kan? Ni nampaknya tahun depan kena lebih produktif..Takkan nak biar bersarang lama-lama pulakkan (bak kata cik tohru la kan~)

InsyaAllah kalau online and tetiba teringat dekat blog, aku akan cuba jugak cari idea untuk post sesuatu. Andai kata aku terleka dengan dunia hiburan internet yang lain.......hehehe, hanya kata maaf mampu ku ungkap.. Miane :)

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Kata-kata hikmat: Jangan terperangkap di masa yang lalu mahupun terlalu risaukan masa hadapan yang belum tentu, sebaliknya nikmatilah masa sekarang yang sedang dilalui.

First Day Of Practical Training.....

Assalamualaikum w.b.h.

Grateful to Allah today because I finally started my first day of practical training in TNB Dua Sentral Kuala Lumpur although got few hurdle the morning before starting my day. My mind drift while driving so I take a tricky road to office and I followed my intuition to try new road. So yeah, again, I made a wrong choice and almost end up being lost for my first day.

Once arrived, I kept on waiting at the TNB HQ car park for the bus to take me to my main office. I was confused for reason the bus is not there yet. Waiting and waiting and waiting kept me anxious. Oh Gosh! Where is the bus..Am I waiting at the right point? I don't wanna be late!! Feels frustrated tho.At last, the bus came at 7.30 and I arrived at main office at 7.45..LOL! Not really worth worrying when it takes only 15 minutes to arrive.

Ok, the story actually start here. I felt TOTALLY AWKWARD on my first arrival to the office without any adult accompany me. Feel totally alone there. Normally I went to TNB Office with my dad but today I was all alone..I feel nervous and didn't dare to watch anyone on their face. The funny thing is, I want to ask someone where HR department is and that lucky person (the one I'm asking) is actually my supervisor..Another big LOL.

Up I went to level 13 where the HR department is, place that I need to report myself in. Waiting there trying to shut off any negative thought and try to make myself comfortable is hard. People would anxiously looking at you. Who is this? A new staff? New IL (industri latihan)/ trainer? Someone's kid? You could see all that when they are looking at you.

Its the same when I was brought to meet my supervisor and my new placement. Everyone is wondering while I was maintaining my composure. However, I'm still glad that my supervisor is a nice madam. She explain it to me with a smile. Now, it still hard for me to socialize with the people around me. I'm afraid I would disturb them when I have no job to do since my supervisor is busy with her meeting for a whole day. My schedule for practical training is not arrange yet.

So lalala I'm waiting here at my desk online and reading stuffs..Writing and replying just to fill up my boredom time ;)

Politik oh Politik..Ape da..

Assalamualaikum w.b.h~

Post hari ni berkaitan dengan ketidakpuasan hati pada politik di tanah airku (Malaysia). Entah macam mana boleh pulak aku terfikirkan hal ini. Walhal sbelum ni tak pernah terlintas pun nak ambil peduli. Hm, mungkin sebab ummi aku asyik komplen pasal politik tiap hari kat telinga aku kot.  Almaklumlah, teman bicara politiknya (abah) berada nun jauh di pakistan..Hihi..

Hari ni aku duduk makan sambil menonton televisyen. Disebabkan ummi yang memegang remote control, aku ia kan setiap cerita yang ditontonnya. Sekali sekala je pun aku duduk melangut tengok tv dengan ummi. Dari satu channel ke satu channel, last-last ummi tengok sidang parlimen.. Hadess, politik lagi (ini hati aku yang cakap) -_-

Aku pun layan je la walaupun tak minat sangat. Lagipun kena fikir jugak, walau aku tak minat macam mana pun politik ni tapi apabila makin membesar, hal ini jugak yang akan dibahaskan oleh rakyat sekeliling. Duduk kat kedai-kedai makan pun bole dengar tau perbahasan ni. Nak pulak aku akan menjalani practical training. Mana la tau bos nak jadikan ni topik perbualan..hehe.

Ok, jauh pula membayang. Actually, aku cuma nak tekankan kat sini yang AKU MEMANG TAK MINAT POLITIK. Aku memang jenis yang suka neutral. Tak pilih mana-mana sebab aku malas nak gaduh-gaduh. Ish, tak suka lah kan kalau nak gaduh hanya sebab benda kecik camni. Sampai nak berenggang bagai, dari couple bole clash, kawin pun nak kena ikut hal kait politik, kerja pun kena kait politik..Oh PUHLizZ! Aku bukan jenis macam tu and tak suka macam tu!. Aku lebih suka dengar kedua-dua pendapat.

Tapi walau macam mana aku dengar & baca pun, bila sebut tentang kenaikan harga...Aku jadi macam bingung sebentar, naik geram sampai rasa macam nak mencarut-carut (Astaghfirullah..nasib baik ade pengganti zikir) Bukan apa sebab aku adalah salah seorang generasi akan datang. Bila aku mula membayangkan apa yang akan jadi in the future, aku jadi takut. Gaji permulaan rendah & bila dah tolak nak bayar bagai-bagai bil, aku rasa makan ikan masin pucuk paku je la mampu..sob sob.. Ok, namo fikir dah. Bak kata seorang member,"Live in the moment." Thats why right now I act like ignorant people who doesn't really care about politik negara.

But still, terus terang cakap, aku memang pernah terfikir nak duduk luar negara. Kahwin je dengan orang luar. Berhijrah. Nampak macam melarikan diri kan. Hehe, padahal aku ikut jer saranan ahli politik yang kata ,"kalau tak suka politik sini, pindah la negara lain." Tak salah kan?(Aku tak tau ni ayat siapa, dengar dari ummi jer pun) Opps..neutral neutral.. Nanti tak pasal-pasal tanam anggur jer sebab politik + kerja.. Yup, memang pernah terfikir hal pindah keluar tapi sebab bila fikirkan balik, sayang jugak sebab ini tempat lahirku. rasulullah sendiri sarankan kita cintakan negara. Rasulullah idol aku, takkan tak nak ikut pulak kan.

Hm, dah la..Penat tangan menaip jer (walau mulut tak berbuih berbicara).. Bukan dapat apa pun kalau cerita pasal ni (kepuasan hati ade la). Aku nak balik jadi neutral tapi ingat, walau orang tu berdiam diri macam mana sekali pun, jangan sesekali provokasi orang tu. Gunung berapi yang senyap jangan diledakkan. Nanti banyak bicara tersimpan yang pedih-pedih keluar. Mahu luka berlagu pasni..hihi.. Ok, sekian ;)