Alhamdulillah, from the event I joined (although that would be the last) I gain my objectives. Gaining experience and at the same time my confidence. I learn to have my own style and became pretty for my own sake day by day. Playing with shawls (belit-belit selagi boleh) and upgrade my sense of style.
I had once make a promise to myself to have my own boutique one day although having IT major as a course in universities. I could make use of the IT knowledge to do my own budget marketing. Create designs using computers and any related to it. Today, I talk with interior design student. She said, they don't really use Photoshop in their design but more on using AutoCad software since it in 3D. Yes, I won't deny the use of it in designing since it create more real-look and give advantage to make-realize the design.
As usual, I won't let myself be at the limit. I would try any activities or things I could learn and have confident in it. event if I'm not good with it at least the experience could be use in the future. It the same thing as the event I went through. I learn the moral of it : Not to do things behind your parents, get their consent by giving all the reason you have until they agree, take note of the event schedule and always prepare a backup plan for any occurrence. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion to the person who is to do you make-up because make-up is the reason you feel much more confident. Having bad make-up/makeover is the same as lowering your self confident.
There's also things I learn when doing talking and socializing (which is my favourite when it comes to talking to sisters/kakak2). They have experience. In malay, we say it as " Mereka terlebih dahulu makan garam kehidupan." One of interesting fact that I picked up during the gathering when doing the make-up is, you don't really need to have the qualification or skills as a sewer but its good enough to have management skill to manage the design you had and sold it. Just hire others to do the sewing while observe them to ensure the outcome is the same as how you had want it.
From that moment, I feel enlightened. The burden I had to accomplish my dream are lifted. I could still have my own brand early, start from small business. I don't need to find time to have sewing class which I rarely could find a suitable time. Been quite a busy girl since I gained back my health. Not much of a limit now, just need to maintain my balance eating food and take the supplement to support my energy.
I had a talked with my mom (ummi). She listen to my ideas and agreed that I make realize that ideas as soon as possible because if I keep on delaying it, the ideas would soon be banish. I know that fact too since lots of my writing had to be cancelled due to almost the same theme that come out in novelizing world lately. I told ummi, "Ok, kalau macam tu akak nak pergi Jakel la. Hari tu usha situ, banyak kain yang ok2 bole guna untuk buat selendang. Sementara price tengah murah, baik manfaatkan." Ummi only nod and she said she would follow me there.
InsyaAllah, soon I would have my own designed of shawls. I would use little knowledge that I have in modelling to promote my own shawls. This time, I would be the one controlling the situation and not being controlled by it. Maybe there's a hikmah/ advantage of having Mara processing my loan late. I get the loan approved at the second semester before I end my studying. So, rather than having it waste. I prefer to make some investment on it, may Allah make ease my plan :)